


Somewhere Only We Know

by Milesupshur47



Series: Perfect Space [3]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Angst, Bit of fluff to buffer, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, angst angst angst, wildehopps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 15:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9768560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milesupshur47/pseuds/Milesupshur47
Summary: One-shot: Nick Wilde is many things, but he's not immune to what all partners inevitably feel.





	

Another day done, another case solved. When everyone was fixing to leave for the weekend Judy posited that the officers leaving shift had been burning the candle at both ends and that a reprieve was in order. This had garnered appropriate looks of both surprise and shock. The words were coming from Judy after all, Ms. "By the Book" as she was sometimes called. Nick knew otherwise but had kept his trap shut. Most of their workers had prior engagements but a select few had decided to accept the offer and planned to meet after work and even offered up a place. This was where Judy and Nick found themselves now.

Nick and Judy passed through the double door of the bar. The place was a precinct favorite often occupied by the various mammals in blue after a hard days work. The bunny hoped that it would soon become a routine location for after hours recreation. Outside, the day was quickly drawing to a close and the moon was beginning to cast its cool rays on the brightly lit city. Wolfard, Delgatto, and Fangmeyer had promised to meet the fox and bunny for a night of rabble rousing and stiff drinks. Even Clawhauser was invited. McHorn begrudgingly offered to tag along much to the delight of Judy who had never seen him unwind past his gruff persona in any way but he was destined to be a designated driver. He had a wife and kids to return to after all.

They quickly found a pair of empty stools at the bar and hopped onto them. This being a police bar most of the seats were still catered to larger mammals but the seats were high enough for the two smaller officers to be comfortable. Nick stowed his sunglasses in his shirt pocket.

"You know," mused the bunny, "wearing your sunglasses at night isn't nearly as glamorous as the song makes it out to be."

"Don't switch your blade on the guy in the shades." Nick broke into a smile. "Oh no," he added through his grin.

Judy snorted at the dated reference. She knew he was learned but even that lyric was pushing it.

"How old are you?" she prodded.

"Oh come on it's a classic," retorted the fox with mock offense in his eye.

"A classic from 23 years ago. It's almost vintage."

"You're one to talk. How do you even know that?"

"Because I've been around old people!"

Nick shook his head and flicked a pointed finger in her direction.

"You know back in my day young mammals used to have more respect. Careful I don't start looking for excuses to bring you in for 'disorderly conduct', Carrots."

"For what? Hurting your feelings?" she quipped calling back to the moment Nick realized she was more than just a token bunny. The fox smirked and rolled his eyes in a gesture of surrender. He turned back to the bar. Judy did the same but not without a farewell jab in retaliation.

"There'll be plenty of time for cuffs later," she whispered with a sensual drop of flare to her words. Nick sat up straight but made an effort to keep his composure. That bunny knew how to to strike at his core.

Judy looked ahead to the shelf of liquor beyond the bar and eyed each and every bottle. Nick smirked with anticipation. Whenever Judy drank it was always a quiet spectacle. Usually she preferred something with a fruity flavor to take the edge off the alcohol, but when it found its way through her she talked with slurred words, made even more snide remarks at mammals other than Nick, and sometimes even got a little flirty. Overall the bubbly found a way to let her cut loose. However, she only ever did it with Nick. It was nice to see her relax somewhere other than around the fox.

"You know," Judy started, "I don't feel like a lemonade today."

Nick perked a brow and the vaguest trace of a curious smile quirked his lips. His ears stood erect and waited to listen to whatever his bunny had to say.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, today I want to try something with a little more bite." Judy swiveled in her seat to the fox with a confident smirk. "A real drink!"

"That's not your grand pops apple cider you got there," he said pointing sideways to the liquor wall. "Some of that stuff will burn your tail off, Carrots."

Judy tapped a pointed finger at the counter.

"I see you still have your tail, Slick."

"That's because I'm made of vinegar and salt." He pointed his thumb to his chest. "Hard to get this fox sloshed."

Judy blew a raspberry. "Please. You're the cheapest drunk I know!"

"Pray tell, just how many drunks do you know?"

"Just the one. But I promise I'll keep it a secret for your ego," she said leaning in with a smile.

As much as he hated to lose an argument Judy was right. Nick wasn't the most graceful of drunks. After a few shots (at least half of a bottle he liked to think) Nick gabbed and gabbed. He lost his sharp wit and replaced it with an overly emotional drawl becoming very affectionate, even sweet, Judy liked to believe. The last time he was plastered they had been watching a romantic comedy with a glass of wine. While Judy had barely polished off her glass Nick had downed several servings and he couldn't help but draw parallels between his bunny and him and the couple in the movie. Before the night was over his sappy rhetoric was rewarded with a couple of sweet kisses from the rabbit and he fell asleep in her lap. Inwardly Nick was hoping for a similar outcome tonight albeit with the roles reversed.

While Nick reflected happily on his bunny's many quirks Judy leaned to whisper into the fox's ear.

"Count your cards right and you might get lucky tonight, Mr. Fox." She giggled slightly with a puff of breath on Nicks cheek that made him shiver. "When I drink I start feeling...hot."

Nick placed his paw on his chest dramatically. "My dear bunny, I am a gentlemammal. I prefer my females classy and sober."

"You don't want to both get drunk and have a rousing night of sloppy sex?"

Nick stiffened at her candid offer and looked both ways before hunching over. 

"...Okay, maybe just this once."

From the corner of his eye Nick caught the movement of a pale wolf pulling up a couple stools the bar. Wolfard cracked his neck and settled his paws on the wood countertop before he turned with an expectant grin to the fox.

"You ready to get drank under the table, Wilde?" Nick could see the smugness on his face: the curled lips and the unconscious baring of his teeth. Wolfard knew that as the larger of the two he could put away more liquor than the much smaller Nick and he was more than willing to take the loudmouth fox down a peg. Nick knew it wasn't malicious. Wolfard meant it all in good spirit. It was just the back and forth sniping of lighthearted coworkers.

Nick rolled his shoulders and smiled to his side. He knew just how to come up on top with his type and all it took was words: Nicks specialty.

"Only if you're buying," he said absently.

As soon as the words registered the wolfs muzzle fell and he adjusted in his seat.

"Never mind then."

"That's what I thought." The verbal sparring over, Nick conceded to a celebratory drink. One round was easy enough to cover and he was a good sport.

"Bartender, a round for the lot of us. Except McHorn," he said looking over to the large rhino dressed neatly into a large button up. "He has to go home and be responsible." Nick gave a mock shudder.

Wolfards smile returned and he nodded gratefully to the fox. McHorn turned his head from where he stood resting his arms on the bar and characteristically rolled his eyes.

The barkeep, a much thinner leopard than the gleeful dispatch officer, expertly produced a stack of shot glasses and dropped one at each patron. He held up a bottle of whiskey and Nick nodded affirmatively and the leopard went to each glass filling it to the top, only stopping when he reached Judy. He looked back to Nick and the fox leaned forward over the bar and crossed his arms with a chuckle.

"Don't give me that look, pal. She's tougher than the rest of us," he said and pointed over his arm. The bartender looked back to the smallest patron who was tilting her head in a testy glare. The feline quirked a cheek in a smile and poured the golden liquid with a slight shrug. He left to tend to polishing a glass and Nick finally noticed the size difference between Judy and her glass. Judging from the size the shot might have been a double, maybe even a triple. A twinge of concern sparked in Nicks head and he wondered if the bartender had the right idea.

"You uh," he said with a weak laugh, "sure you can handle that, Hopps? That's a deadly weapon in some states."

Judy's ears flicked to the uncommon usage of her surname in Nicks voice and her brows knitted together quizzically until she saw his concern and she dropped the pretense with a disinterested frown.

"You don't think I can have fun like the rest of the boys?"

"No, no, it's not that. It's just you tend to act a bit...funny when you get smashed."

She scrutinized him head to toe and smiled. "Smashed or smashed?" she said breathing the last word out lower than the former.

Nick perked a brow and his smirk grew more genuine.

"You know what I mean, Fluff."

"Don't worry, Slick. I can handle myself. And if I can't," she said with her tone conveying her doubt at those words before resuming her chipper tone, "I have you to take care of me."

With her words Nick couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. He raised his appropriately sized glass and Judy raised her slightly out of scale glass to clink against his.

"To making the world a better place," Nick said trying to convey his legitimacy. Most days he would say that in jest but today was a celebration. And with Judy she made it all feel real and it was.

Her eyes softened. "To the partners that make it possible."

\---

Clawhauser had ordered something fruity with an overly elaborate name while the other officers tossed back a couple of shots. Nick simply nursed a cool beer in his paw. Beside him though, Judy had imbibed a surprising amount of liquor for someone of her size and it was beginning to show with her actions. She wasn't slipping over her words yet or even sluggishly waving her arms, but Nick did notice an inordinate increase in her pointing at him. And like a kit without her mother she began to point at others too. Nick chocked it up to having to be more expressive when you were of a smaller size as to get a point around and oh how Judy liked to point.

They carried on sharing laughs and stories between the lot of them. The doors eventually slowed in traffic as the night carried on. The ring of the bell hanging above would have gone without notice if not for who walked in with it. He was a bunny, a few inches taller than Judy with light fur and dressed in a motorcycle jacket and khakis. To Nick he was unsuspecting and managed to only steal a split second of the fox's gaze but the rabbit started looking in his direction. With a scan of the bar his sight stopped on the lacquered gray bunny currently swatting intently at the strange looking fox's tail like she was trying to catch it. His pale blue eyes focused and a smile spread over his face.

"Is that Judith Hopps I spy?" he said approaching her with open arms.

Judy spun on her stool with a quizzical expression that soon fell away with shock and then a warm smile.

"Sweet cheese and crackers, Evan!"

Nick spun after her just in time to see her meet the new rabbit in a friendly embrace, patting him a few times on the back and pulling away.

"Look at you!" he said eyeing her from the tips of her ears to her toes. He stopped on her badge and brightened with a perked brow. "Family wasn't kidding, you went and made yourself a cop huh?"

Judy polished her knuckles across the bronze emblem.

"You betcha! You know how I got when I put my mind to something."

"You've come a long way from standing up to bully's at the school play, Jude."

A gruff clearing of throats from the fox sat at their side jogged them from memory lane. He didn't know who this guy was and Nick would feel a lot better if he understood who he was dealing with. Sadly he was stopped by the intruding form of Benjamin Clawhauser blocking his view of the as of yet undetermined stranger.

"Oh. Em. Goodness!" Ben squealed. "You guys used to go to school together and now here you are running into each other in the big city!" He turned to Nick. "How perfect is tha-"

Ben was halted by the stern gaze of the red fox who seemed to be turning even more red than his namesake. The cheetah excused himself from the steely look and resumed sipping his fruity beverage across the way making sure to keep the two bunnies in full view. Nick dropped his hard gaze for a second and turned back to interrupt the exchange of pleasantries between the old schoolmates.

"Yeah, perfect," Nick said finishing Bens sentence and drawing the attention of Judy and the interloper.

Judy devolved her grin into a simple smile and gestured her paw between the two males.

"Nick this is my old pal Evan Thumper."

"Thumper Evans if you don't mind." The buck held out his paw and Nick could hear the squeak of his riding jacket. The guy looked cool, a little too slick for someone that might've come from the burrows. Nick had met other country folk aside from Judy but something about this guy was off. It only set his teeth further on edge. The fox looked from Evans face to his paw and back but made no effort to take his manners further.

"I do mind actually, what are you doing here?" he said without missing a beat.

Judy glossed over his tone whether it was because she would chastise her fox later or because she simply hadn't caught on to his simmering disposition. She scrutinized the buck with easy eyes.

"Nicks right. What brings you to the city, Evan? I thought you were busy with med school out west."

"I was. I haven't earned my degree yet but I figured I could do with some time to see the sights. So I set up shop in Zootopia. I'm working as a medical technician for Zootopia General."

'Med school?' Nick thought. 'In that jacket?'

"That's wonderful!" Judy beamed. "Helping to make the world a better place, huh?"

"One mammal at a time," agreed Evan. "You knew you couldn't help but rub off on me." Nicks fur bristled at the subtle implication of the comment and tapped his beer on the counter.

"Well it's been fun, Thunker. Nice seeing you. We'll send you a Christmas card."

"Whoa slow down there, Slick."

'Again with the Slick?' Nick thought. 'Is it something I'm wearing?' He unconsciously sniffed the air for any trace of "slickness" he might be putting off only to find his nose to be left wanting. The air held only the scent of liquor, stale peanuts, and rabbit. But not just Judy. 

"I haven't seen Judy hear in a good, long while. If it's okay with her I wouldn't mind catching up a bit. Believe it or not we used to be pretty close," he added and gave Judy a once over in a way that made Nicks scratch a mark in the counter.

Judy waved to her side at the empty stool. "Sure! Have a seat. I'll buy you a drink."

And that's when Nick realized it was going to be a long night.

\---

To say that Nicks disposition towards Evan was instant wary was an understatement. Seeing the bucks ease of comfortability around Judy, the way his paw drew lightly to her arm when he laughed, it was more than enough for the fox to want to carve divots in the counter. Nick was sure that if he hadn't gotten to know the rabbit they might've gotten along. They could have been friends even. But the sight of, Evan he think he said, coming in and trying to lay his paws all over Nicks mate made the fox's claws curl unconsciously. Nick looked down only to see that he had already scratched three marks into the wood surface of the bar.

What he was feeling, what all boyfriends eventually feel, a corroded wire of green rust wrapped around his heart and it made it all but impossible to find Judy's friend to be anything but a nuisance. Nick was jealous and felt threatened. He wasn't dumb enough to not understand that.

Not that he would ever admit it.

'Take it easy, Wilde. They're just friends. Nothing to twist your tail over...'

Nick watched quietly from his worn seat as the bunnies caught up and talked about old times. But the way that Evan was so at ease around her had the opposite effect on Nick. Most mammals were put off by her optimistic attitude, even more so by her badge. To see someone not perturbed by a bunny cop was all fine and good. But when they also sat that close to her...

When the buck commented on her shape he would hold his look on her figure a little too long. When Judy told a joke he laughed a little too hard at lame jests that she had tested previously on Nick, and he knew they weren't that funny. He would touch her arm in the midst of their laughter and linger. Everything about this guy was setting off alarm bells in the fox's head. As Judy would have put it: his "fox senses" were tingling. Nick knew a dirtbag when he saw one and this guy most definitely fit the bill.

It wasn't just his "touchy-feely" brand of friendship. Nick had noticed whenever Judy had finished a drink Evan was quick to order her another one. She didn't deny the new glass of booze and managed to put it somewhere much to the fox's concern. And as the night drew on Judy grew more and more plastered.

It started with her reflexes. Evan slid a shot access the bar at the bunny and Judy narrowly missed it as it whizzed past her paw. Another two shots in and she was beginning to spill traces of liquor across her chin, a fault that did not go unnoticed as Evan would dab at her muzzle with a napkin. Judy would chuckle and and push his paw away but Nick saw it.

Next was her speech. Judy words had begun to slur together in words that even the fox couldn't have imagined in his more erroneous moments of tomfoolery. It got so bad that she had long forgot about poking Nicks sour demeanor and was spending more and more of her conversations with her head laid on the bar.

By the time midnight was rolling around Judy was half asleep and unconsciously drooling on the counter. Nick had kept a concerned eye on her like a hawk and was never more than a hop and a skip away in case things got hairy. Right on cue her "friend" started talking again.

"You're a little tipsy, Jude," said the buck. Nick cut his eyes at him but the buck was too busy checking his phone.

'How come he got to use that nickname?'

Nick was pulled from his thoughts when a small paw laid itself over his and he looked back to find Judy almost falling out of her chair to lean against him. He caught her and she murmured happily into his chest.

"Mmmm...take me home, Mr. Fox..."

He smiled lightly at her state. She was adorable even when she was trashed like this. He hushed her quietly with his finger to his lips.

"Shh Judy, someone will hear."

She rubbed against him again this time higher into his neck. He looked around and no one had caught on, yet, but if she kept this up he would soon be explaining to his coworkers why his partner was getting a little more handsy than usual.

"If you don't I'll find someone else who wiiiilllll..." she teased.

She had meant it to be lighthearted but the pushed feeling in Nicks mind was forced to the forefront once more and it felt like a dagger made of ice.

Before he could react Evan looked up from his phone and back to Judy. He tapped her paw which stirred her from her slurry of lethargy. With a grim smile and a nod he turned back to the officers.

"She's pretty far gone. I think it's time we called it. You guys mind if I give her a ride home?"

McHorn gave a predictable shrug preoccupied with watching the wolves try not to break into a howl while Clawhauser was too busy flapping the numerous tiny umbrellas he had accumulated from his fruity drinks. But Nicks expression cemented into a frown, almost a glower.

"I don't think so, Jumper," he said standing to his bunny's side and putting himself between her and the white buck. "I'll take her home."

"It's Thumper, and no offense but your almost as lit as she is."

Nick looked back to his two beers. One bottle laid on its side with naught but a drip to show that it had been full at all and the other had barely even been sipped. He turned back to the rabbit and narrowed his eyes.

"I'm fine and besides I know where she lives." Nick gently took hold of Judy's paw and she lifted towards him with an ear drooping off the bar. "Much offense intended."

"I grew up with her."

Nick countered. "I'm an officer."

"I'm a trained medical technician."

Nick rubbed his temple and spat back. "I'm her b-" 

Thumper raised a brow. Nick threw his gaze to the side at Clawhauser for support but he was too far gone.

"I'm her best friend," he said glossing over his near slip up.

Evan looked far from impressed but relented, a shadow of something feel from behind his eyes and Nick felt like guarding his bunny even more. Was there something there or were his protective instincts playing off his paranoia?

"Fine," grunted Evan. "Let her know to give me a call sometime. I'm sure she would love to catch up some more." He added a bit more macho to his tone and Nicks frown deepened. 

Without another word to the buck Nick hoisted Judy up and supported her with an arm around her waist.

"Come on Judy. I'll get you home safe and sound."

She smiled with her closed eyes and nuzzled into his side once more. Nick gulped back his emotions and swung the door open and disappeared leaving an irate white rabbit wondering what he would do with the rest of his night.

\---

Carrying a light bunny home was not a problem in the slightest. Carrying a drunk bunny that was constantly trying to steal kisses and slip her paw under Nick's shirt was a bit more of a challenge. While his beat blues had allowed him some modicum of professional respect when guiding his plastered girlfriend home he couldn't help but notice some of the suspicious glares he elicited on the walk back. Sure, things had changed for the better after the NightHowler case, but that didn't mean that all mammals had come to see foxes in a brighter light, and their piercing gazes still cut just as easily.

By the time Nick had arrived outside his flat he was tired, irritated, and not the least bit annoyed that Judy had continuously flirted with him the entire way home. She had noticed his sourpuss expression and somewhere in her addled mind it had registered but that didn't mean she thought any more negatively on the matter. Judy had continued to to fiddle with the buttons on his chest and even the belt on his waist. Nick knew that she couldn't help it. Any other day seeing her this drunk and flirty he would have gladly taken her home and they might have had some fun. But Judy's drunken pestering combined with the strange forwardness he had felt off of Thumper had still given him a bad vibe.

It hadn't helped that Nick felt that he had been neglected for another male.

Was that wrong? Part of him still felt guilty for the way his mind toyed with his emotions, plucking the strings this way and that in a wound coil that didn't make sense to him. Nick just wanted things to go back to the way they were when he didn't feel upset. Or jealous. Or guilty for feeling jealous.

Holding her up Nick walked through the door and Judy giggled when she saw where they were.

"Your place, hmmm..." She hiccuped. "Very forward of you, Mr. Fox."

He had taken her to his place since it would be easier to deal with her tipsy flirtations without the constant pestering of her nosy neighbors. That and it would help keep the secret. The Oryxes loved to gossip.

Nick walked the bunny over to the couch and set her down before he began to pull her foot covers off. Judy kicked and teased at his paws but Nick wouldn't even try a tickle. When he was done he stood before her and sighed. She was staring back at him with constantly droopy eyes and swaying to an invisible breeze. She was still beautiful and even more adorable. And a small part of Nick wanted to just hold her for the rest of the night. His thoughts were interrupted when she broke the silence.

"Come on Nick," she said standing up to her fox. She was close enough for the whiskey on her breath to sting Nicks nostrils. "Let's go to the bedroom..."

Nick caught himself on the back foot and pushed lightly against her shoulders sitting her down on the couch. She gazed back up at him with a semi glazed expression, confused at his reluctance.

He sighed. 

"Carrots you're drunk, and I'm just not in the mood right now."

Judy pouted but wasn't ready to give up yet. With Nicks paws still on her shoulders she pushed back with surprising speed and her paws whipped to his belt buckle and deftly undid the latch. Nick recoiled away and his eyes flashed with irritation.

"Judy, no..."

She ignored him and tried to shimmy down the hem of his pants but he gripped them tight in his paws. She stared up at him an opened her mouth to protest but was stopped by a growl from her partner.

"Judy, I said no!"

Without another word he pulled away from the room and headed for the bedroom alone before he looked back. His words had a sobering effect on Judy, leaving her sat on her knees with her mouth crooked in an open frown and her eyes crinkled on the edges. The innocence there shone bright at him, too bright, and he could tell she didn't know what she had done wrong but that she recognized it had hurt him in someway. A cold knife of guilt punched through his chest and Nick instantly regretted raising his voice at her. He shouldn't have berated her for her tenacity. Judy was always one to never give up and with the way they played around in the bedroom it was to be expected that they might fool around after the fun she was having tonight. Those hopes had been dashed and she didn't deserve that, Nick thought sullenly.

He drifted slowly to the couch contemplating just leaving it be or to just spills his guts then and there to her. His feet turned to lead making the decision for him as he sat quietly next to her, flexing a frown on and off his muzzle.

"I'm sorry."

Judy found the strength to string her words together in an appropriate response with some tact.

"No, I.... I shouldn't have pushed you."

She shouldn't feel guilty, he berated himself. Judy was just trying to have fun with her boyfriend. It was his stupid hangups that we're having a negative effect on her. 

 

One of her paws creeped over his and Nick looked up to see her roll her head toward him in a accepting gaze. Even drunk, Judy was eager to comfort her fox.

"Come here."

Nick obliged and drew her into a hug. Her grip was weak but Nick held her tight on his arms letting her presence grant him peace.

'She's here,' he thought. 'With me. She would never hurt me, you idiot.'

Judy rubbed into his chest hoping to convey her unnecessary apology and Nick knew it wasn't needed.

"I still love you, Nick," she murmured and he melted further in his guilt.

'I don't deserve her kindness.'

He could feel the warmth radiating off of her cheeks from the booze as she wilted into his shoulder. She was falling asleep. Nick pulled back.

"We can talk about it in the morning. Okay?"

Judy rubbed her eyes and blinked heavily.

"Are you sure?" She tried to hold back a yawn but it escaped her mouth in a cute gasp of air that made Nicks heart warm at the sight of her.

He scooped her up in his arms and she leaned into the hammock of his body. He took her to the bedroom and laid her gently on the blanket. As she curled into the nest of blankets and pillows Nick sighed. Seeing her like this any other day would make him melt inside and wonder how he could possibly be so lucky. Now he just felt something darker, fearful even. He pulled off his shoes and sat next to her. Nick ran his paw along her arm and she nuzzled against his touch. He crawled over her and laid behind her resting his chin between her ears and his tail curled over Judy's legs allowing her the comfort of his natural warmth.

It wasn't like she was a possession. If a possession was taken from him, be it his badge, the plush carrot Judy had given the fox to keep him company, or even Nicks prize kerchief from his failed attempt at the junior scouts, those could all be replaced. But a possession didn't breathe, stay up long nights on the phone, or love like there was no tomorrow. He loved her of course, more than anything or anyone, but that didn't mean Judy was an object to be coveted selfishly like a princess in a tower. So why did these thoughts make Nick feel like he was treating her like one?

Nick rubbed his chin into her fur and Judy stirred up against him with an affectionate coo. He forced his eyes shut. They were stinging at the thoughts that swirled in his head. Inwardly Nick wondered how she would take his doubts or if she would even deign to hear them at all as he fell into uneasy sleep. His dreams were not pleasant.

\---

The first thing Judy noticed when she woke up the next morning was the acrid taste of alcohol that stuck to her lips when she licked them. In the curtained sunlight of Nicks bedroom Judy stirred with a readily apparent feeling in her churning stomach. The hungry gurgle it gave yearned for breakfast but the thought of eating also sent it reeling. It wasn't enough to think about rushing to the bathroom, but spending her off day in bed didn't entirely sound like a bad idea. Judy blinked away the heavy sleep and adjusted in place only for Nicks red arms to wrap tighter around her. Not uncomfortably so but enough to rouse her further from the cover of rest.

Judy was used to waking up like this. She had spent many a night falling asleep in her fox's embrace only to awaken with his arms still wrapped cozily around her. But today he seemed to be cradling her like a lost kit, afraid to let go. The scrunched expression on his face was more than enough to read that off of him. He never went to sleep with that look and it spoke to an as of recent unworked part of her brain; the part that read worry and concern on his face.

She managed to peel his arm off her and wormed her way to a sitting position. Her mind tilted with a dizzy haze and she leaned back on her arms to anchor for support. Had she drank that much? She looked back to her fox and observed his crumpled blues and disheveled fur and then to her own wrinkled uniform. They hadn't changed since they left the precinct the day before so a wild night of physical romance seemed unlikely.

Bits and pieces began fading back to her. The night at the bar. The arrival of an old friend. Nicks...uneasiness? A vague exchange of heated words. Then Nick brought her back home and she felt hot. Something else happened and she was taken to bed. As Judy's head was besieged by another wave of shifting balance she reasoned that it had probably been for the best.

From behind her, Nick stirred rolling over to face her and when Judy looked back she was met with the longing in his emerald gaze that confirmed her early worry. Despite the sleep he still looked tired with bags under his eyes that stole away from the exuberant kindness that Judy often found there. In a way he seemed even more restless than she could recall of his being from the previous night. It only made her want to know what happened more but she didn't know how to broach the subject.

"Hey," she said without any better ideas.

"Hi," he replied with equally unassuming neutrality.

In the absence of speech Judy rubbed at her head. She didn't feel like she had drank too much but when she turned to fully face Nick that thought was dashed upon the rocks. She wobbled in place and Nick rose to steady her with a paw to her shoulder before assuming a sitting position across from her. 

"How's your head?" he asked trying to fill the air with words, anything to keep the silence from creeping back in.

Judy rubbed at her temple and pursed her lips momentarily while a rusty cloud played through her noggin obscuring the memories she wanted to recall. It was upsetting to say the least, this dancing around in her head, but Judy's physical symptoms were making it extra hard to handle.

"Not as bad as I thought it would be," she said lessening the problem to herself before acquiescing under Nicks careful eye. "Maybe an aspirin wouldn't go unwanted."

Nick was up and in the bathroom before she knew it and rummaging through the medicine cabinet. When he returned he had two small gel pills in his paw and offered a glass of water in the other. Judy downed the painkillers and sipped heartily at the fluids. Nick sat quiet, patiently watching her and she handed him the empty glass.

"Thanks. What would I do without you?"

"Thankfully we don't have to answer that question, Carrots," he said with forced charm. It didn't hit its mark as it was meant to and his expression fell. "You want to talk don't you?"

She nodded slowly and Nick pursed his lips. He had contemplated leaving it alone altogether but nothing ever slipped past Judy Hopps, hungover or not.

"You're still being genuine and wonderful, but I know something's bothering you Nick. You're not as good as you once were," she added with a playful softness in her eyes.

He shrugged and exited the room calling back without looking.

"Maybe I'm just getting old," he deflected from the other room, stowing the glass on the counter and resting his paws against it. "Us foxes get sentimental as we age!"

He frowned at the obvious lie. Judy was smart enough to to know that he would never discredit himself on the worst of days and here he was stumbling over the blatant tripwires in his head. Of he wanted to hide his feelings from the bunny of his dreams he could have at least tried harder.

At that thought he realized how stupid he really was. 'Idiot fox,' he thought with gritted teeth.

Nick turned around to find Judy standing before him in the living room. She wobbled absently in place even as she set her paw on the couch for stability. From the look on her face Nick could tell she was painfully aware of how he had been standing there leaned over the counter like he was going to heave and Nick cursed himself internally.

"Nick...you wouldn't have said that if there wasn't anything wrong."

"I'm fine, Carrots. Really." Another lie, even more blatant than the last.

Judy frowned and she looked aside with her eyes dropping and Nick felt the guilt again. In the caustic silence that followed Nick absconded to the couch and sat himself quietly on the far side by the window and clasped his paws in front of him. Judy followed him and stood before him looking for the right words.

"Would it be better if I gave you some space today? I'll understand if you say yes."

Nick felt the lump in his throat tighten and he managed to force the words out. He never could resist that face. Even before he really knew her. Now, after so much time spent together in a more personal light, that face was doubly effective. He caved like a house of cards.

He looked up and took her paws in his, squeezing gently. A trickle of honesty got through and Nick knew it was only a matter of time before a trickle turned into a flood. Those violet eyes made it all the easier to let that happen.

"It's not that, Judy. I don't want to be left alone." He didn't want that. Not after last night. 'Not when I could picture you with anyone else but me,' he thought cringing as the thoughts registered with his conscience.

"Then what is it Nick?" She sat at his side and scooted closer to him laying her paw on his lap. "Tell me. I won't be mad. I promise."

He let out a drawn out breath.

"I don't want you to think any less of me."

"Of course," she said with all of her heart behind her words before they were tinged with a trace of humor. "I couldn't possibly think any less of you than I do now."

Nick flexed a smile but it disappeared as quickly as it came.

"It's about that rabbit from the bar."

Judy cocked her head.

"Evan?" she said, her eyes shining with questions.

Nick nodded sullenly.

"The way he looked at you. He wasn't just there being an old friend. And the way he kept feeding you drinks..." He pushed her paw off his leg and shrank away from her. "I was afraid."

"Afraid of what? That someone would..." Realization dawned on her face. "Oh."

The night seemed clear to her for a few fleeting moments. How Evan had arrived out of the blue, his candidness to give her drinks. The cold bitterness Nick extended towards the buck and eventually the haze of their exit. What she had said to Nick before they left and what had happened when they returned home. Then nothing.

Judy cocked her head and felt out her words. She was beginning to understand Nicks reticence towards her.

"You were afraid he would try to take advantage of me."

Nick closed his eyes at the words and nodded quickly. Even the mere thought of it pained him. It was one of the worst things he could imagine, that scenario. He didn't even want to entertain a far off dark fantasy of it.

"I don't-" he swallowed back a pang of guilt that threatened his voice. "I don't want you to think that I believe your capable of that. But I can't help but think about it. And it scares me to death."

"I'm sorry. I feel disgusting for even thinking it," he said hiding his face behind his paws.

A period of silence was set but was soon followed by a building laughter followed by a lapine paw flicking to Judy's temple as her hangover disagreed with her volume.

"I didn't picture you as someone that would worry so much," she said with a slight pain painted in the crease of her brow. "Ow."

Nick slid his paws down his face and entwined them between his knees. A laugh? Was that really what she thought of it?

"Of course I would worry, you're the world to me!" he cried raising his voice an octave. He instantly rescinded the tone and retreated back into the corner of the couch as he faltered. "Forget it. I don't want to talk about it anyway."

Judy's humor had vanished and she grabbed his arm.

"Nick wait. I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it like that." She looked at him deeply and could see the hurt there. He was trying to be open like they had promised and here she was trying to laugh it off. "This is serious to you."

He nodded solemnly.

Judy wilted and her eyes shimmered with emotion.

"I didn't help by saying those things like I did. Or teasing you."

Nick shrugged his shoulder against his neck. "I know you didn't mean it like that..."

"But I still said it. And it still hurt. Didn't it?"

He nodded quickly and Judy could practically smell the guilt radiating off of him in waves. She melted against him in a hug.

"Oh Nick." She spoke into his neck and rested her chin on his shoulder. "I understand what you're telling me but you have to know that I would never do that to you. I would never hurt you like that."

He nodded again and held her tighter with tears threatening his eyes. He didn't know if they were from the guilt of feeling this way or from the perceived disappointment he must have inspired from her. There was no way this wasn't a step too far for her, he thought; that this couldn't possibly be forgiven of him. But he persisted and agreed with her.

"I know, Judy. I know but I'm scared. It would be so easy for you to find someone better for you. You're wonderful, and beautiful, and fantastic, and anyone would be lucky to lay eyes on you. But I can't help but sometimes feel like others might watch you too closely. And I get scared."

Nick didn't want to feel this way. Judy was a strong and capable female in her own right. She didn't need a fox doting over her with such heavy concern. She didn't need his shadow suffocating her from the light of day just because he couldn't stand the thought of someone looking at her like he did, or God forbid trying to hurt her. Judy was everything to him. He didn't need to be the one to hurt her with his thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Judy. I'm sorry that I worry so much about that kind of stuff." He relinquished his grasp on her and turned his face away afraid to look her in the eye. "You must think I'm a creep."

Judy touched her finger under his chin and pulled his face back.

"No, Nick. I'm not mad."

"It's natural for you to feel this way. I would be lying if I said my fur didn't curl whenever I spotted a vixen eyeing you. And you sure do talk when you're wasted."

He smiled weakly and let his eyes lift with his face.

"And I'd be lying if I said I didn't just talk when I was sober," he tried to joke.

Judy nodded and let his trace of mirth slip into her own smirk.

"Nick, you'll always be concerned about me whether it's over things we can't control or things we can. And it's not because you're obsessed or possessive. You just love me you big dummy."

Judy adjusted and laid her paws on his lap.

"But I also want you to know that you have nothing to worry about when we're together. You're the reason I don't do the bad stuff," she said with ironclad sincerity.

Nick felt her eyes steel with care on him and he blinked to brace himself against it. She could always get to him, even when he didn't want her to. But the concern still played in his mind, dull as it had become.

"But we can't always be together, Judy. That's not fair to you."

The edges of her mouth pursed at his concerns and she took them into herself letting Nick wait and know that she was taking the time to listen.

"I know, and I'm not saying I would do something like that, but that's why I only drink around you. I trust you to keep me contained and safe. You're my safety net, my rock. I can always count on you to protect me."

Nick averted his eyes. "I know you don't really need protection..."

Judy tilted her head. "I don't need it. But I have it. Just like you have it with me."

She pulled him in to a slow kiss and wrapped her paws around his head. He could taste the sting of liquor on her muzzle but he didn't care. He had felt like akin to filth you would scare off your shoe and she had accepted him anyway and assuaged his concerns with the care and dedication he had come to expect from his partner. Judy was always there for him, rain or shine, even when he didn't feel like he deserved her.

Nick slid away from her lips and pulled her back into a hug and felt her tiny heartbeat against his chest.

"I guess I can get up my own ass sometimes, huh?" he said with his casual charm returning to his voice.

"I wouldn't say you're up there all the time," she responded with growing snark. From her view behind him she saw the return of his fluffy tail wagging and it warmed her insides once more.

Nick snorted a giggle out and nuzzled against her once more before Judy released her grip on the fox. He pulled her back for a final squeeze and she affectionately pushed his muzzle away.

"Is it wrong of me to assume that every rabbit from the Burrows was interested in you?" he joked from behind a veiled compliment before his tome conceded to her. "I suppose I was just being paranoid about the whole thing."

Judy looked to the side and held her silence. Nick knew that look and his jaw dropped.

"Aw come on Carrots I was just getting past this thing!"

"He only asked me out once!" she shot back defensively. "I didn't feel the same way so I turned him down and told him I was so preoccupied with the academy that I didn't see myself being able to pursue a relationship and my career." Her ears drooped further and she rubbed at her arm. "I might have let on too much or just not enough that there was something there. And that's why you felt weird about him."

"I wish I would've been clearer with my words back then. Anything to keep you from feeling uncomfortable like you did."

Nick felt the guilt creeping back in his gut and he looked away to hide his face.

"You couldn't have known...and I shouldn't have been so jealous as to worry about you."

"I'm sorry, Nick." Her face fell. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

His paws found their way to her shoulders and he wrapped around her in another hug.

"No Judy, you didn't hurt me. I hurt me. And I was so caught up in my head again that I could have hurt you."

She laughed softly into his chest holding back her own stirring emotions. Judy had hoped to make him feel better, but the way she saw it she had not only made things worse for Nick, but also ended up feeling partially as guilty.

"We're both still kind of a mess with this whole thing aren't we?"

"Yeah." He rubbed his chin into the top of her head and she nuzzled back. "I guess it's just another thing to add to the list, huh?"

"We'll figure out a way past this, Nick. I promise."

"We always do. Though I'll admit, just talking about it makes me feel a bit better. How you put up with me is a mystery, Carrots."

"It's an acquired taste," she joked. "When it comes down to it it's kind of sweet that you're jealous over little old me." She smiled brightly wanting to set him at ease and he brightened at her beautiful face. "You watch over me and I'll watch over you. But don't get any funny ideas. You're still my fox."

Nick looked at her and thought of everything she meant to him, and again how stupid he could possibly be to think otherwise of her. She was the most loyal, steadfast, supportive female he had ever known, and he felt lucky as sin that she was with him. Not speaking for something that was unknowingly years ahead in the future? And Judy's response was that she was willing to unconsciously dip herself in guilt just to staunch the tide of his own outlandish concerns when she had nothing to feel guilty for. 

Nick still didn't feel like he deserved her, or that Judy deserved a schlub like him, but if that was the worst thing she felt she could do to him then he had nothing to fear. 

Judy smiled. "You know, if I was king of the world you wouldn't have to cry a single tear unless you wanted to." Still she persisted in her sweetness. 

Nick smirked. "Technically you would be the queen of the world."

"Shut up and kiss me."

\---

**Author's Note:**

> Now I know what you're thinking: is it really fair for Nick to feel this way about Judy? Does it make him a kind of bastard for having those thoughts? In my opinion...kinda. We've all dealt with some form of heartache or betrayal in our lives, and if you haven't I think it would stand to reason that you've at least felt uncertainty or fear. I myself have been put through a ringer and seen my friends endure that kind of emotional trauma. And while I didn't want to put Nick and Judy through that I did want to touch on the subject in some way. I guess you could say this story is my catharsis for all of the....darker stories out there. The kind that when you stumble upon the. You can't help but read and when you're through you feel like a truck just ran over you.
> 
> After reading a particularly dour story about my favorite ship I was in the dumps. And my friend decided to cheer me up with a real life example of doubt and those fears. I would be lying if I said his story wasn't the main inspiration behind this one shot.
> 
> It's not exactly fair for Nick to feel this way. But it's honest. And I feel like a healthy couple would acknowledge those concerns and get past them sure, it's a little dark for a Valentine's Day submission and I admit I didn't think I would finish it today but that's where the chips fell. So here ya go; one last story before we move on to bigger a and better things. 
> 
> Not necessarily less angst mind you but you get what I'm saying:P
> 
> Thanks for reading.


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